


The disinterested Victim

by totally_legit_banana



Series: Larry oneshots [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Attempted Murder, Comedy, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Oneshot, mentioned relationship though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 06:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13757913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totally_legit_banana/pseuds/totally_legit_banana
Summary: From the prompt; "Write a horror story where the protagonist just doesn’t give a fuck." Louis has been left alone at home and really just wants to sleep, not really caring who might try to stop him.





	The disinterested Victim

Hello. My name is Louis Tomlinson. I am 26 years old at the moment and have a newly acquired boyfriend named Harry Styles, who is out of town for the weekend. However, I am just going to assume that this doesn’t interest you. If you’re reading this, you are probably more interested in knowing what I am doing at this current moment. Well, for your information, presently I am sitting at my breakfast table with a serial killer, who has just taken off his mask and laid his ax on the floor to eat a muffin I gave him. Confused? Let me explain…  
*  
*  
It was about four o’clock this morning when I was woken up by a rather loud thump from the floor below me, followed by a string of harshly muttered curse words. Now, don’t get me wrong, normally I would have immediately stood up to confront whomever might find themselves lurking in my kitchen at dawn, but on this particular day, with my boyfriend out of town, I was determined to finally get a full eight hours of sleep. 

And sleep I did.

However, barely half an hour had passed before I was rudely awoken by a shadowy figure looming over my bed, wielding an ax. Terrifying, right? Wrong. To my sleep-deprived mind, there was nothing more terrifying than missing out on my last few hours of rest before Harry came home. So, doing what any crazed 26 year old would do, I punched the serial killer. Right in the face. He made a strange, choked noise, something like, “aarraagfff!” and I could see him stumbling blindly through my room, clutching his bleeding nose. Completely disinterested, I turned away and fell back asleep.

When I woke up for the second time, it was to find the serial killer sitting at the end of my bed, still holding his nose, watching a movie on my TV. I glanced at the clock. Over three hours had passed since I had last been awake, which meant I had achieved my eight-hour sleep goal. 

Nice. But now I had a serial killer to attend to. 

“Hello,” I said. “If we just ignore the fact that you tried to murder me this morning, can I interest you in some breakfast?”

The serial killer turned to me. “Do you have muffins?” he inquired. 

“That we do,” I responded.  
*  
*  
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how Harry comes home to find me eating muffins with a serial killer at eight o’clock in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah don't really know what I was thinking here...


End file.
